Use Failure to '#PutYourselfOn'

What I'm going to do right now is go back -- to February 11th, 2014 when I was sitting up in my room, sipping on my favorite wine and scouring the Internet for new job opportunities with my newly updated resume. And it wasn't because I was bored and needed something to do, it was because I was let go from my job the day before. 

I'll start off by saying that I wasn't shocked nor emotional about being let go, but honestly the most relieved I have ever felt in all my 25 years of living. For a while, I had this gut-wrenching feeling that I knew I wasn't made for my particular position, but I refused to give up anyway.

My mom could tell from our phone conversations that I wasn't happy. I remember bluntly telling her tearfully, "I feel like I'm failing" over the phone just days before I was let go.

I had mentioned it to a few of my mentors, but assured them I could turn it around. Even my closest friends at the time knew that something was up, but because of my stubborn nature, I refused to believe that I wasn't good enough to for my "dream job." When come to find out, it wasn't at all my dream job, just a gateway to prepare me for what was to come. 

During those short six months of employment, I was exposed to a number of great experiences, but I always remained mindful of the reason WHY they hired me.  And trust, I played on those strengths in and out of the work place. Even in the midst of facing adversity, I never lost sight of what I knew I was good at. While my "dismissal" was shocking to others, it gave me an opportunity to finally take a moment to discover what I really wanted to accomplish in my career.

There's always a test in the testimony.

Last year's "plot twist" taught me that in order to be the change I wish to see, I have to boldly (and strategically) seek opportunities in which to have my voice heard. In the words of my homie fellow blogger Michell Clark, I has to quickly learn how to "put myself on." For me, this was a challenge to see how creative I could be with the resources that I had at my disposal. From blogging more about my passion for millennials and social media, to asking for help from mentors, family members and former colleagues, I slowly and purposefully started to rebuild the foundation of my very young career.

Within 34 days of being let go, I was hired by a company that I've grown to admire greatly, and surrounded by amazing individuals that not only wanted me to succeed, but to help me along my professional journey too. Just a constant reminder that God will never give us more than we can handle.

A lot of times when a particular job doesn't work out, we're quick think it is because we weren't good enough. We spend time questioning what went wrong, where we made our mistakes and what we could have done better. And while that is all completely necessary, we must also take time to appreciate what and who we learned from in that experience, and how it was a necessary part of our life's journey.

Looking back, I'm grateful for the short-lived experience I had, and the doors that it ultimately opened.

So the next time you find yourself in a moment where you feel as though you've failed, don't panic. Cry, scream, throw dishes – do whatever you need to do and LET IT GO. As the great C.S. Lewis once said, "There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind."

Be great!

Chasity

Guest Post - Our Crown Has Been Bought: Why #WomensHistoryMonth Matters

To conclude the #WomensHistoryMonth guest post series is blogger Anuli Akanegbu. Visit her blog "Also Known As Anuli" for her musings on pop culture, technology and life as a 20-something living in Chicago.

When I was a little girl I had more dream jobs than Barbie. I wanted to be a firefighter, a hairdresser and an international superstar all at the same time. I never once questioned whether I could do it all or have it all because I was taught to believe that if I tried my best and lived with passion then I could achieve whatever I set my mind towards.

I will admit that I currently envy that little girl and her ambition. Over the years, I’ve questioned myself and have given in on multiple occasions to Impostor Syndrome.

“Our crown has already been bought and paid for. All we have to do is wear it.'' This quote is often attributed to Maya Angelou, but it was actually first said by James Baldwin in regards to the double discrimination he faced from being both black and gay.

Similarly to Baldwin the crown I wear is a double-tiered one because I am black and I am woman.

That being said, I often wonder whether the points of my crown could one day shatter the glass ceiling, so I could really have it all. To be honest, I’m still not 100% sure how I would even define this mythical “all.” Despite being encouraged to whole-heartedly believe in myself there are times when part of me expects someone to come up, remove my crown and tell me that playtime is over.

These are the times when I feel like I’m lost in the middle of a forest unsure of the “right” path to go towards. But, as a college professor once told me, “When you’re lost in the middle of a forest, the only way you can go is out.”

It’s easy to get caught up thinking about the “right” path to go on. Trying to calculate every move you make, so you can get to the “right” destination. All the while wondering if you started in the “right” place to begin with. It’s easy to get caught up in the weeds because the weeds are all you see.

It’s times like these that illustrate the necessity of Women’s History Month. Women’s History Month provides our society with a moment in time to look at women who have made it out of the forest with their crowns intact. Women’s History Month brings us as women together in unity, so that we may all be inspired by the women in front of us, behind us and beside us to rise together, so that our crowns may collectively create little dents that with time will shatter the glass ceiling.

Women’s History Month is more than just a book display at the local public library. It’s a time to honor women who dared to believe that their best was good enough and to encourage ambitious little girls to develop into ambitious grown women. At the very least, it is a time to remember that whenever you feel lost in the forest there are women who have been lost before too, but eventually they found their way. As will you.

Millennial on a Mission: Alissa Trumbull

To close out this amazing Women's History Month, I'm excited to spotlight yet another young woman who has a passion for social media like myself, and is building an awesome brand to further connect with her millennial peers. The Social Outlaws is her newest endeavor, in which she and her co-founder look to highlight the latest in discoveries in social media and social business for their readers. It's also pretty cool that she's a fellow Evanstonian as well. :-) Meet Alissa Trumbull.

Born and raised in Evanston, Illinois, Alissa started her undergrad work at Lawrence University in Appleton, Wisconsin as a Technical Theatre and Biochemistry major. She then transferred to Loyola University Chicago during her sophomore  year, and received a Bachelor's in Social Work and a Theatre Minor. "I stayed on at Loyola for a Master's in Social Work with a dual concentration in Health and Children & Families, and also received a MA in Bioethics and Health Policy," she says.  And while she has chosen not to use her Social Work degree formally, she has always had opportunities to utilize the skills that she has honed, as all jobs require an understanding of human interaction. Currently, she works as a freelance writer and graphic designer, and moonlights at a local restaurant, The Lucky Platter. "I love everything about what I'm doing."

CC: What has inspired you to launch Social Outlaws? What have been some challenges in launching this awesome endeavor, and what have you learned from them? 

AT: Social Outlaws came about through a meeting with Matt Hannaford (@mhannaford) during the inaugural #SemanticChat (now on Mondays at 12 EST). Both Matt and I had been interested in starting our own blogs for some time, but wanted to make sure we had enough original content to keep them going. By partnering up, Matt and I have found editors, great critics, and inventive collaborators in each other.

Our biggest challenge has been figuring out WordPress. There are SO many options for layout, design, plugins, etc. We're still working on what to use and what to keep, and really making sure the Social Outlaws brand we are projecting is consistent. A great piece of advice I got from Jason Viglione (@JayVig) is that we need to make Social Outlaws an extension of each of our personal brands. It is important that people see me as Alissa M. Trumbull and Matt as himself, and that Social Outlaws be our platform for sharing the content we're creating so that we can both continue to grow individually as newer brands in our own right while still developing Social Outlaws into what we want it to be.

CC: What inspires and drives you? Who are some role models that you admire, specifically any women #WhoRunTheWorld? 

AT: I am a very passionate person. When something is interesting or rewarding I go full-steam ahead, giving my all. It is incredibly important that I feel good about myself and what I'm doing in all areas of my life. It's cliche, but we each only get one life - there's no sense in being unhappy in it. These are just a few of the many women in my life that continue to inspire me:

My mom. The older I get the more I appreciate my mother and her strength. She is a smart, educated, dedicated woman who continually walks the walk of living a fulfilling life. My ability to have both family and career without sacrificing either comes from seeing the way my mom balanced the two while I was growing up. I also think I get some of my fearless, adventurous spirit from her.

My Kappa Alpha Theta sisters. Theta is the most fulfilling way I give back to other leading women. I have stayed involved by being active on the board for our Chicago alumnae chapter and as an adviser for a local college chapter. Theta changed my life in many amazing ways. It is through my continued service to the organization and giving to Theta Foundation that I find the most reward.

April Dovorany. I met her while working for the Miss Wisconsin Scholarship Pageant. She is an incredible, determined, and poised young woman who knows what she wants in life and is taking steps to make her dreams reality. Not only is April making her career take off, she shares my priorities and makes sure to take time for her family and friends, to center herself, and to give back to her community in areas that have impacted her own life.

To Alissa, a "Millennial on a Mission" is a strong-minded individual open to collaborating with a variety of other people in a myriad of settings both in person and via technology in order to make strides towards his or her life goals and leave a positive, lasting impact on the world. "Brian Fanzo of Millennial CEO notes that millennial is also a mindset, and that we need to focus on the open and forward-thinking values of millennials which can be shared across generations in order to be more successful and more productive," Alissa says. "I like this view because it doesn't pigeonhole millennials into simply being one thing or another. It is important to see cross-generational values for continued success in life and in business."

And her advice for young entrepreneurs? Just go for it! Successful people always start before they feel ready. "I left my job at the end of November, and since then I've changed my mind several times about what I want to do. And that's totally okay," Alissa recalls. "I had a broad idea of where I was headed and have been able to streamline my writing and my long-term career objectives as I work towards being a happy, successful person one day at a time."

Guest Post: Why Is Women's History Month So Important?

Today’s post is by guest blogger Diarrha N'Diaye. Visit her personal website for more of her amazing insight on fashion, beauty and travel. 

We work. We love. We nurture. We fight. We innovate. We birth. We support. But somehow we’re still the lesser. (What feels like) Eons later, women are still living in a man’s world. It’s a confusing and often complex phenomenon especially when we sprinkle of cultures and religion into the ‘1+1=1.5 equation.’  But every once in a while we remember the great power the woman possesses. We remember Shirley  Chisholm. Beyonce Knowles-Carter. Michelle Obama. Rosa Parks. Mariama Ba. Maya Angelou. Princess Diana. Malala Yousafzai. Sophie Zinga. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Our moms.

That every once in a while comes to us today in the form of Woman’s History Month. When the clock  strikes March 1st I get this overwhelming sense of joy and pride to be Female. My peacock feathers are out! My Instagram feed is overflowing with phenomenal women who inspire me to continue to push the limit and work towards the best version of myself. It’s a month to reunite and connect with our leaders and respected peers to collectively shed light on the importance of woman equality in this “man’s world.”

I grew up in my mother’s African Hair Braiding Salon where women from all walks of life convened at her 125th Avenue beauty haven. And trust and believe, I’ve heard it all within those four walls. But I also remembered being inspired by so many women, in so many ways. I remember: One lady had the most compelling stories about teaching special needs children. That inspired me to be compassionate to my peers in school. Another lady visited religiously and each time had a different story about her job as a bus route driver. She, somehow, taught me to be authoritative. This hilarious woman (who was well in her 50s at her time) retired young and traveled the world (in stylish grey braids, of course). She inspired me to not take my self too seriously. And to make sure I went away to for college and looked into a study abroad program as soon as I settled on campus. It was a great time growing up, and having a sense of self-worth in this otherwise man-dominated world.

Now that those days have come and gone I have had to find my own sort of haven, where women convene, inspire and spark new changes. And now, in my older years, I have made it a priority to always surround myself with strong females. Women’s History Month is a gift to me; it’s become my digital safe haven. *Cue “I'm Every Woman”*

Guest Post: To Be Or Not To Be...

Today's post is by guest blogger Aja Seldon. Visit her personal website for more awesome "Hustlenomics" and "Snackables" like the one featured below.   

As a woman striving to be the best version of myself, I often wondered would I ever be enough. Questions invaded my psyche and haunted me in my dreams. Would I ever be enough for the world? Do I standout or fall in line? How do I make my presence known? Would my legacy be one that is remembered or would my likes and follows be the determining factor? Did my name hold enough weight to go down in history? All I wanted was for someone to show me the map or blueprint to greatness and I would simulate.

For years, I battled between creating my own image and a carbon copy of what I thought the world defined as a Black female pioneer. I translated that as, an educated Black woman who was headstrong, opinionated and assertive. I ordered my steps according to those I thought the world exalted, but my feet began to trip up. The shoes I was attempting to fill didn’t fit. See I had traded in my vulnerability for detachment, my fear for anger, my inquisitiveness for being a “know it all” and my charisma for being brazen. I had it all wrong. The problem didn’t lie in the praiseworthy female leaders. The problem rested within me.

There is no blueprint to greatness! No one can hold your hand and lead you to the pot of gold. There is no playbook or cheat sheet to attaining success. I had to stop measuring my greatness to those I idolized and fancied. We remember those who are great because they are innovators and visionaries who not only push the limits but surpass them.

Ladies, I challenge you to stop working to be a replica of someone else and grow into the skin you were given. Find your gift or your calling and stop answering to the command of someone else. Women’s History Month is about remembering our ancestral leaders, but commemorating those in the present. I’ve never been more cognizant of the amount of goal oriented women with completely different missions, but standing on the same platform which is to be great in their own lane.

Are you becoming the woman from your dreams, or one from the history book?