What It Really Means To 'Faith Your Fear'

This post marks Day 2 my #NaNoWriMo challenge. Peep my first post here.  Today marks the one year anniversary that I've been at my current job. For some, reaching that milestone seems like a pretty decent accomplishment. But for me, it's one that I'm pretty darn proud of, given that four months prior to my hiring date, I was unemployed.

While I was job hunting one night sitting Busboys & Poets, I remember listening to The Eternal Peace LP by Purple Wondaluv (Musiq Soulchild's alter ego) and being completely captivated by one song in particular, titled 'Faith Your Fears.'

The last year has been full of numerous teachable moments, but the idea of "Faith Your Fear" as been one that has quietly stuck with me throughout.

We see the phrase all the time - on t-shirts, mugs, Internet memes. It's our go-to 'Motivational Monday' or 'Wisdom Wednesday' when we need a reminder to persevere, press toward the mark and push a little harder to get the job done. For those of us who grew up in church, Hebrews 11:1 is forever etched on the walls of our hearts. But what does it really mean to take something as "abstract" and "intangible" as faith and use it to defeat the overwhelmingly paralyzing emotion we know as fear? 

First, let me give y'all a few definitions to lay the groundwork:

The dictionary defines fear as "an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat."

Conversely, faith is described as "complete trust or confidence in someone or something."  Faith is also usually connected to having a strong belief in God or other spiritual practices.

See, both fear and faith require that you exercise how you are going to react to a situation and what you are going to tell yourself during that particular season.

When I was fired from my job last year, I won't even front - I was scared. I had rent to pay, student loans to manage and other obligations that I need to take care of. But there was also a sense of relief and peace I felt walking away from a job that brought me unhappiness, worry and stress. Even within the uncertainty that loomed in the days and weeks ahead of me, I knew deep that another job opportunity would come my way. I actively chose to believe that something greater was coming. I didn't know what it was, but I trusted that

In the meantime, I had to do the work, be proactive, and put myself out there as I waited for my next opportunity. This 'waiting' came in the form of work: writing (A LOT) for different publications, pitching small businesses and organizations as future clients for social media strategy freelance work, and holding myself accountable for the work that I said I was going to do.

Here's the 411 - fear is crippling, anxious energy that keeps us stagnant, stuck, angry and weary of the ways of the world (word to Solange.) With faith, you are obligated to DO. Believing in yourself, in God (or your higher power of preference) and in the goodness of the Universe requires you to act and put all cylinders in motion.

A few weeks ago, I experienced a very familiar feeling at work, where I wasn't performing to the best of my ability and my boss had called me out on it. Uncomfortable and guilty, I immediately started to get down on myself, think of a way out and place the blame on someone else.

But I had to stop myself. After a long and necessary chat with my mom (because, Mama Wideman ALWAYS be knowing) I had to assess the situation, see where my boss was coming from, and take responsibility for the mistakes that I had made and why  I didn't execute in a timely fashion. Doing so allowed for me to create a 30/60/90 Day action plan (which I shared to my manager) in which I acknowledged my short comings, things I needed to change and set goals that I wanted to accomplish within the next three months.

It probably would've been easier for me to fold, hold a grudge and chuck up the deuces -- but what would I gain from doing that? Sure, people would have their own thoughts about me (which, I couldn't care less about) but those feelings of defeat and shame probably would've rendered their ugly faces at one point and tried to keep me from flourishing. But I didn't. I had my usual 'come to Jesus' moment, put some things on paper and put forth some effort. Holding myself accountable to the job I've been called to do required me to trust myself and put faith in the work I'm capable of doing.

Currently,  I'm reading the book "Letting Go: The Pathway To Surrender" by Dr. David Hawkins. Throughout the book, Dr, Hawkins highlights a number of feelings that we encounter as we travel this pathway of surrender, but the one that has stuck out to me the most is (you've guessed it) fear.

Here's a passage that I highlighted, underlined and put a star by as it relates to fear:

The more fear we hold, the more fearful situations we attract to our life. Each fear requires additional energy to create a protective device until, finally, all of our energy is drained into our extensive defensive measures. The willingness to look at a fear and work with it until we are free of it brings about immediate rewards.

As I sit typing this post in a coffee shop, just hours ago I felt fear because I wasn't going to be able to complete it. But within that fearful moment I had to choose: was I was going to let that fright stop me or work though it so that I could make sh*t happen? 

I know it's easier said than done, but in order to become the person you know you are destined to be, you have to first believe that it is possible and then, take the necessary steps to ensure that it will come to pass.

The next time a moment of fear is on the horizon, try these three things to put your faith to work:

1. Take a moment and ask yourself, "What is it that's really making me afraid?" Identifying the problem will help you decide whether to avoid it or work though it.
2.  Create measurable and attainable goals, and keep track of them.
3. Remind yourself that you are enough.

Fear is an emotion that is normal for all of us to feel, but it can drain us of the energy we need to do the work. Having just a little bit of faith can change our mindset, help us power though those tough times, and build things that we would have probably never imagined.

Have you experienced a moment recently where you've had to 'Faith Your Fear?' Send me a note and let's chat about it. 

Chasity

Trust Your Transitional Shift.

Blessed Wednesday, y'all.  It's been a minute in a half since I've published a personal post, and I could come up with a million excuses why, but I'll spare you.

Lately, I've been doing a lot of running - and not because I'm training for my first marathon either. For the last several months, I've found myself running from thoughts and feelings that often left me confused, overwhelmed and even doubtful. As a result, I've conjured scenarios (and even uttered some aloud) that seem like viable solutions, but are in fact concrete avoidance to the problems I haven't wanted to face for a very long time.

[*cue "Running"*]

I know what you're probably thinking: "Chas, but you're always so positive about all of the things. You couldn't possibly have an ounce of doubt in your system!"

Well friend, I'm flattered that you think so much of me, but even the most positive people on Earth have moments when they have no idea WTF is going on.

But once I stopped running, dried my tears, took a few deep breaths and truly assessed the situation, I discovered that what I'm currently experiencing is a transitional shift. Transition from one chapter of your life to the next is one thing, but the idea of moving and growing simultaneously can make your head spin. It's uncomfortable, raw, emotional and has required me to be brutally honest with myself at times. (Can I get a witness, anybody?) From the goals I want to accomplish professionally in the next year, to the type of personal relationships I want in my space, to how I'm spending my time and energy on a daily basis, this season of transition has truly been one of infinite growth.

tran·si·tion: the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.

shift: a slight change in position, direction, or tendency.

Maybe it's because I'm a millennial, but I've noticed that a number of us are points in our journeys where we're being required to stretch further, hustle harder and flex that faith muscle like never before. Our desires are becoming more apparent, our strengths are showing themselves more boldly and we're recognizing that we have to let go of old ways in order to level up properly.     

And you know what we need to do, y'all? Trust the hell out of it. 

Because I love y'all and want you to flourish, here are the four things that I've found helpful during this transition process:

1. Journaling. Writing has always  been my release, but as of late, I've become a lot more intentional with it. Since August 1st, I've made it my mission to jot down my thoughts at least once a day (preferably in the morning) as a way to set the tone for my day. Many thanks to Ashley Coleman's #WritersWriteWLD challenge, I've also been able to deliberately reflect on moments in which I've felt the most broken and to those that have positively contributed to my growth. Writing is a form of healing, and I highly suggest picking up the pen whenever you get the chance.
2. Talking about it. With my family, friends and other trusted advisers, vocalizing these thoughts and feelings has allowed for me to paint a picture that is much more positive than negative. If you know me personally, then you know that I have a tendency to kick off my shoes and relax my feet in my head - and it sometimes isn't the hippest be place to be. During this time, I've had to literally push myself to acknowledge my feelings, accept them and figure out the necessary steps I can take to owning my healing process. There won't always be an immediate solution to the tough questions you may ask yourself, and that's okay! Progress is a process, so I've had to be patient. Which leads me to my next point...
3. Extending grace + mercy  -- to myself. I am my own worst critic. I put the most pressure on myself and sometimes set the bar a little bit too high. But here's the thing - even when I feel like I'm not good enough, I remember that God will never, ever give me more than I can handle. Yes, mistakes, disappointments and failure happen, but that doesn't mean we resort to throwing the most lit pity party of the century. We humans are fragile creatures, and aren't build to always have our sh*t together. As much as I want to be superwoman 24/7/365, sometimes I just need a moment to relax, relate and release. We don't have to chase what's God sent, so take give yourself a break and enjoy the ride.
4. Being still. Silence isn't golden for nothing. Taking a moment just to quiet the loud thoughts in my mind and center myself on a daily has been a huge help. I get anxious and tend to stress out about little things, which in turn causes me to want to move (both literally and figuratively.) Enter prayer and meditation. We live in a society that is constantly on the go, and usually to nowhere important. When you make the time to seek peace and quiet, you'll find that clarity arrives much quicker than you could ever imagine.

My dear friend, it's time that we stop running from ourselves and trust the direction in which we're going. Everything we need to create the lives we've always wanted is already inside of us - we just need to tune into it. Silence the noise, faith your fear, and trust the shift that's happening in your life right now.

I believe in you,

Chasity

P.S. Last night's #WhoRunTheWorld Twitter chat with the phenomenal creator of the #blkcreatives Network Melissa Kimble touched on this very topic. Click here for a recap of the conversation and be sure to share a gem you thought was helpful! 

Just An Update.

Happy May, kiddos.  These last few months have been quite the whirlwind for me personally. From dealing with awkward transitions to encountering unexpected surprises and even heartbreak, adulting for me has been realer than real. But more often than not, the good always outweighs the bad -- which is always a blessing.

Below are a few cool things that have happened since my last post:

• Earlier in April, I took at 2-week hiatus from social media, and it was probably the best decision I had made in a while. Yes, I love Snapchat and Twitter just as much as the next millennial, but I found that I wasn't getting a lot accomplished trying to keep up with everybody and everything. During my break, I noticed that time moves slower than usual when you aren't tethered to your phone waiting for the latest update. I'm learning to use social media as a tool, not a validation of my ideas or success. It is definitely an exercise I highly suggest practicing on a quarterly basis. 
• I participated in my friend Tyece Wilkins' #WYAOApril challenge. While I didn't complete all of the prompts, I did pen four pieces that challenged me to go there with my writing. You can read them here.
• I ran the Cherry Blossom 10-miler, and celebrated by hitting the cleanest milly rock that you ever did see.
• I sat on a millennial panel for Chianti Lomax's "The Happy Pop-Up" event and it was just the positive experience I needed to remind me that I've got so much to be thankful for.

Each of these moments, while vulnerable in their own way, have taught me to fully embrace the discomfort and beauty that often comes with growing up. They also taught me that self-care is vital and that it is okay not to know what comes next. The important thing is to have faith in your ability to bring to life your dreams and ambitions.

This month in particular, I've promised to myself to be more consistent and intentional about posting in order to continue my growth as a writer. I want to be resourceful and provide you, the reader, with content that not only allows for me to share my authenticity and expertise, but gives you the opportunity to share who you are as well.

It's only May 2nd, which means there is so much more for us to accomplish before the year is up. I will continue to operate from a place of gratitude and I hope that you do the same. Let's keep it moving, shall we? 

Love + light,

Chasity

Wisdom Wednesday: You Can Change.

"These are the times of your life, don't you know who you are?You can be anything you make up on your mind. Don't feel bad about your past, it made you who you are You can change anything, and you can start today." - 'You Can Change', Purple Wondaluv

After three months and twenty eight days, I'm happy to report that Operation #HireChasity has officially come to an end.

And while I'm grateful and excited for this new opportunity, I wanted to take a moment to reflect on this unique experience I've had these last three in a half months.

When I lost my job in July, I knew that finding another position would take some time, but it was the ultimate goal. I've never been one to not be picky or to settle easily, so I was quite choosy with which things to dedicate my time and energy to. I started to write more, connect with new and trusted mentors, and just enjoy the time that I had to test the waters of what it would be like being a creative full-time. I'll keep it 💯 – the life of an entrepreneur is far from glamorous. Yes, it may seem like you have all the time in the world and you're doing what you love and enjoy, but to be successful at this #TrepLife takes discipline, focus and patience – all traits that I know I am constantly working on improving within myself.

I've grown a hell of a lot in these last three months, and I'm so grateful for it.

And while I may have chosen to extend my talents in a new direction, this doesn't mean that I'm going to negate my personal obligation to fuel my passion in empowering my generation to be a better version of themselves.

One lesson that I will undoubtedly take with me into this next chapter is this: your family, friends, associates and even strangers will all have their own perfect vision for how you should live your life. But truthfully, their opinions must sometimes (if not all) respectfully and lovingly take a back seat. YOU are the main character in your story, so don't feel bad if you must go left when everyone else wants you to go right. You have everything you need to determine what happens next in your life, so be selfish in what you want and work hard to make it happen. Make yourself proud, and be prepared to kick some serious ass in order to make those dreams come true.

2015 has taught me to confidently go in the direction of my dreams, accept the plot twists that life throws my way and believe that the next chapter, the next opportunity, the next experience is always going to be than the last.

To those who have encouraged me, kept me lifted and prayed with and for me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are greatly appreciated.

This next chapter is going to be amazing - I'm claiming that here and now.

Carpe Diem, Chasity

We're Halfway Through 2015, How're Those Goals Looking?

Happy Thursday, peeps! So yesterday as I was scurrying around my apartment getting ready for work, it dawned on me that we're six months into 2015. SIX. WHOLE. MONTHS! HOW SWAY? It seemed like only yesterday I was ringing in the new year with loved ones and sobbing over the debut of Kanye West's "Only One". Now, I'm gearing up to run my second 10 K, cracking open book number 6 of my list of 15 for 2015, bring my 2-year-old brainchild to life (finally, I know) and preparing for one of the busiest summers of my adulthood.

But all of that hasn't come with its own set of obstacles. When I set my personal goals this year, little did I know that not only would not only change, but they would evolve into things that are much bigger than myself. And while I'm still working on personal quirks of mine, I'm so incredibly proud of the progress I've made thus far.

In January, like many individuals, I created a vision board of things I want to accomplish in 2015. From images of traveling to interior design to Auntie FLOTUS, I've kept this poster hung above my desk and look at it daily as a reminder of the #Manifest365 focus that I established back at the end of December. Terms like "Ready for Love", "RUN", "Change is in the Wind" and "Be Thankful" also serve as constant reminders. Additionally, I keep a journal that I look at once a week to review the top 10 confirmations that I have set for myself in 2015. And while some days I just want to come home, grab a glass of wine, watch some Family Guy and go to sleep, (because, sleep is necessary) it is also important to take time and celebrate the small victories you have achieved in order to keep yourself motivated.

If there's one thing I suggest as we move forward in the rest of 2015, is to be stubborn with your goals and flexible with your methods. Sh*t is going to happen, no doubt - but it's all about how you react to it. Plans fell through on one of your goals? Someone didn't hold up their end of the bargain? You didn't get that promotion you were hoping for? Yell out "PLOT TWIST", take it as a teachable moment and keep it moving! Everything isn't always going to be rainbows and butterflies. You're going to have people that disagree with you, ignore you and maybe even throw a little shade your way. But you know what? Just. Keep. Going. And another thing – don't beat yourself up if you miss a deadline. We're all human and don't need to put unnecessary pressure on ourselves (I'm doing my best to take my own advice too.) And finally, don't forget to celebrate yourself! Whether that be with a Saturday of pampering or binge watching Netflix on a Saturday afternoon, don't forget to make time for YOU. Work smart, hustle hard and have some damn fun! We've got six more months to make our dreams come true, and I know we can do it!

So I must ask: how have YOU been keeping up with your 2015 goals? Is it with an-on going list? Do you keep them in your phone? Or do you have a few accountability buddies? How to you celebrate your achievements? Share with me some of your methods, and I'll tweet them out!

Here's to the rest of 2015 being AWESOME!

Chasity